Fasting chickens

23^rd March 09

 Hello again people! Its been a few months since I last blogged. I have been thinking about what to write, wondering what thoughts to share, analysing the way I could communicate- the style and the format. It’s all still feels blurred and unsure to me – so rather than spend a few more months on that vague path, I am just going to get on with it, and write stuff – perhaps then a clear path will appear.

 

 

I would like to point out that my ‘deep and meaningfuls’ – if they ever were so – will still grace these pages, but not as a regular occurrence. I think I just need to write regularly rather than setting myself up as any particular kind of writer. Otherwise I will feel overwhelmed again and my fingers will refuse to blog. I am sure my Baha’i beliefs and lifestyle will come through quite clearly anyway – and maybe that’s enough.

 

Its only been a few days since the The Fast came to a close and we celebrated Baha’i New Year on March 21^st. I feel quite proud of myself this year. My relationship with The Fast has been troublesome and this year I wanted to just do it, to stop asking myself questions and obey Baha’u’llah’s law without resistance. The Fast started on the 2^nd of March and ran until the evening of March 20^th. Every sunrise I got up around 6AM, had a large breakfast and then went next door (sometimes with, sometimes without Ramin) to pray with my Dad. The funny thing was that for the first two weeks this year I was the only one in my immediate family to be fasting – as everyone else was exempt due to different reasons. In the last week, I got a bad cold and had to stop – and then Kalim (who had recovered from a sore throat)  started to fast. It was like at least one of us needed to uphold the fasting banner on behalf of our family!

 

Not eating or drinking between sunrise and sunset used to be my idea of hell. I used to dread the Fast, worrying about my energy levels, not liking getting up earlier, finding other people’s food and drink choices unbearable and generally making life very hard for myself as I either grumpily fasted or guiltily ate.

 

This year I wanted things to be different. Psychologically I was glad that the Fast started on a Monday and ended on Friday, giving you two weekends – rather than the three as can sometimes happen. I was also glad that I could pray with my Dad in the morning – which I found very supportive and which helped me spiritually focus. Living in our lovely home, with the gorgeous mountain view outside our kitchen window was also an assistance.

 

I am happy to say that my experience this year was really the best so far. I have been fasting every year since I was 15 – and really, 21 years later it should be easy peasy by now. However, its only been since we moved back to Wales in the Spring of 2008, that I have felt a sense of being settled in a place – and calm inside myself. My fasting experience was a reflection of this. I didn’t really get any illumined understanding, or feel that spiritually moved during the Fast – but I did feel more grounded, more detached from food and drink (I am drinking De-Caff coffee daily now, rather than my usual full-Caff cuppa) and more in touch with prayer than I was before the Fast.

 

One of my favourite moments this year was rather silly, but which still makes me smile. Kalim, Ramin and I had been out all day, printing flyers and organising things for our ‘Half-Light’ Sports Relief funded Performing Arts project in Pillgwenlly, Newport. We had gone to a retail park, to Comet (Electrical stuff) and to Staples (Stationary and Office Stuff)– and were waiting on a bus-stop to get the bus back to the town centre, where we planned to break the Fast in Subway at sunset before going to the YMCA to distribute flyers and promote our workshop sessions to the young people attending the weekly Youth Club there.

The bus stop was cold, windy and rainy – the rain lashing into our faces at a 45% angle, and we were huddled together waiting for the bus. Kalim and I were fasting (pre his sore throat) and therefore cold, hungry and thirsty and Ramin –due to being a bit underweight- was on a ‘lots of small meals’ plan- and therefore feeling cold also and peckish. We waited for about 10 minutes, feeling colder and more uncomfortable as the minutes ticked by. Our legs were getting soaked by the rain and my hands were freezing off inside the damp pockets of my non-waterproof coat. Right across the road was a Kentucky Fried Chicken and after smelling the tantalizing wafts of chicken on the wind and seeing the tables illuminated by warm lights, looking so cosy and inviting- we lost our will to wait for the bus and eat healthier (i.e. Subway sandwich) and dashed across to the glow of Kentucky.We had about 35 minutes to wait until sunset – so Ramin got a coffee and we waited, our jeans dripping onto the floor – slowly warming up while the rain spat against the window.

 

Ramin’s coffee was disgusting and weak – so it sat untouched while we tried and failed to talk about anything but food. We were able to break the fast at 6pm exactly, so debated when we should go up and order our food. Reminiscing on times past when we had all had experiences of sitting in restaurants not able to eat the food – we vowed this would not happen to us today. After much debate, taking in the number of customers, the number of servers, the slowly ticking time and, of  course, the kind of food we were going to order – we decided we would go up at 6.45 – allowing 10 minutes for serving, 5 minutes for sitting at the table and saying a prayer and then chow down!

Up Kalim and I went at 6.45 – We ordered and paid for the food – I looked around at Ramin, looked back and the server was already pressing the Bucket of chicken into my hand – it had literally taken her one minute to gather our food. Back to the table Kalim and I went – and then for the next 15 minutes we sat and tried not to stare at the food, avoiding it’s tempting wafts, doing our best to ignore its presence – as well as the puzzled stares of some of the other customers. It was actually really funny, and the time passed quite quickly because the three of us found the situation really amusing. 

I have to say – the chicken that day was so scrummy…. and it probably won”t taste that good again until next March.